“The secret to style is self-confidence.”
Ok, fine. It sounds like an Instagram quote, But, deep down, what is self-confidence really?
Ok. Not hiding your insecurities, being able to make fun of them – that’s already proof of pretty solid self-confidence. In general, what I tell myself is:
• We never see ourselves as we really are, so you shouldn’t hesitate to listen to other people (the ones who love us) and take their word for it.
• We all have insecurities. Sharing them and taking them with a sense of humor makes life much sweeter, and much easier.
That’s how I built my self-confidence – and, even so, I still have moments when I dream of having someone else’s body (or apartment, or hair, or intelligence, or #perfectlife)
Here’s an example (I’m going to put my SC in bold and my insecurities in italics).
“Shit, I’m not dressed well enough.Yes you are, come on. Everything is fine. It’s not your style to be over dressed. No, but here’s the real problem. I’m just not skinny enough. The same thing happens every time. I arrive, I feel pretty good about myself and two days later (or two minutes later, if I’m trying a bathing suit on in a badly lit dressing room) I feel huge. I need to take control of my life. Yeah, but not really. You know Fashion Week isn’t real life. Plus, you don’t have a skinny model body. You’re more athletic, but it’s okay, it’s pretty! Yeah… “athletic” but that’s not the body you’re “supposed” to have. Well, then maybe it’s time to change things! Yeah, but… Shit, that person has more Instagram followers than me. Ok, but it’s fine, I mean – she’s been in the same room as you for the past hour, and she’s done nothing other than pose for Instagram. But you talked to people, you were actually living life, real life, IRL. Ok, sorry, but does real life actually have any value? Seriously! Yeah, it’s cynical. But it’s true! Come on, that’s ridiculous. Do you hear what you’re saying? Just be yourself and stop looking at what other people are doing. It’s ugly. I know! That’s exactly what I was saying. I’m ugly. I knew it! I’m horrible!”
Yes I know…We’re so dumb sometimes 🙂
The idea is to be totally yourself, to cultivate your own life and your own passions, to accept and try to understand your insecurities, but not let them take up too much space. Decide what to wear in the morning without worrying too much. Have a few outfits for the “meh” days, and laugh about the days when you mess up.
Work on accepting yourself as you are, take care of yourself because your body will totally make it up to you, and also make sure to choose your words carefully – don’t tell yourself things you would never say to someone else. (Would you tell your best friend she was fat? Stupid? That no one loves her?)
Every single day, find love within yourself.
Because as we all know, that’s what makes other people love us too 🙂